Angels Among Us

I wrote this on Facebook yesterday and I want to remember it, A few days ago I found a little bird that had fallen out of it's nest. I tried to help it but it was so afraid of me that it went under a fence and I wasn't able to rescue it. I could tell that it had hurt it's wing. It was frightened because it was no longer in the safety of it's nest. I could hear the panic of the mother bird. My heart ached for this little bird. I don't know why it touched me so much. Now as I pass by it's empty nest I can't help but wonder what happened to the little bird. I think of all of us and how many of us are frightened to ask for help when we need it the most. I am just as guilty as that little bird. I am afraid that asking for help is a sign of weakness. I isolate myself because I think no one will understand my pain. I am grateful to continue to learn these lessons in life. Thank you to all my friends and family that support and lift me up when I need it. I love life and it can only get better! So yesterday I was starting to feel overwhelmed with all that was going on. After the last post I wrote we ended up dealing with 3 girls with lice. It has always been my fear that someday I would have to deal with lice. For some reason it just grosses the heck out me to think about the little bugs. So after a long weekend of washing hair, combing through hair, cleaning and disinfecting everything in the house I felt like I had did a good job of ridding our house of the tiny creatures. It turns out I was wrong. Taylor and CJ were next to fall prey. Luckily I caught it before they colonized in their hair. Last night I ended up spending three hours combing hair, washing linens and dreaming about lice. It's been so hard to deal with one thing after another. I start to feel like I have a handle on things and then I hit another fork in the road. I keep trying to tell myself that it's not as bad as it seems and that I am not Job! Ha! It really has not been as bad as I make it out. It just feels like it. I am running on very little sleep each night and it's starting to take a toll on my mental attitude. I am going to get through this though, I will conquer. I love Abigail to death and wouldn't trade her for the world. She is such a sweet baby. I am so in love with her. She melts my heart when she looks up at me. I know she won't be a baby for very long so I am trying to make the most out of this time. I have seen tender mercies this week and answers to my prayers. The Relief Society President came over yesterday and watched the kids while I cleaned the house and got everything caught up. She was an Angel in disguise and I am so thankful that she listened to the prompting of the spirit. Today I was so tired that I couldn't function very well. I was supposed to watch my friends child while she helped in the classroom and then afterward we were going to have lunch. I had to tell her that I could watch her little girl but that I would not be able to have lunch with her. She ended up bringing me sushi and watching the kids while I laid down for awhile. It was just what I needed today. I am so grateful that I saw that little bird in the road. It helped me realized that I have not allowed anyone here in Pleasanton to help me. I don't want to look like I can't handle having 7 kids. So again Pride comes into play. I have not wanted to start over here and let people into my world. It is so hard for me to make friends and keep them. It's hard for me to trust people with my heart. It's hard for me to ask for help. We need to allow others to come in when we are weak and wounded. I am so thankful to a loving Heavenly Father that continues to show me love despite my disobedience. He loves all of his children and he wants us to find "joy in this journey". I am on my way. I am beginning to realize that I have highs and lows and that's ok. I just need to not allow my children to see two different moms when I feel this way. Here again, another good lesson. Lesson#6, Allow others to help me.